4 Communication Habits That Kill Your Message

You know what breaks my heart? Watching brilliant leaders and professionals completely undermine themselves the moment they open their mouths. You’ve got incredible ideas, you’ve done the work, you know your stuff – but then these sneaky little habits creep in and sabotage your entire message.

Hey there! This is your friend Maya. Welcome to my channel. I’ve been coaching leaders for decades, and I see the same four patterns over and over. The good news? Once you know what they are, you can fix them. Let’s dive in.

Habit #1: Being a slave to your script. I had a client, Marcus, who would prepare these amazing presentations. But the second someone asked a question, he didn’t anticipate it? He would panic. He’d ramble and force the conversation back to his bullet points instead of just… answering the question. Here’s the thing – your audience can tell when you’re not being real with them. If you don’t know something, just say, “Great question – I don’t have that info right now, but let me research it and get back to you.” Way more powerful than fumbling around trying to fake it.

Habit #2: Filler words everywhere. You know what I’m talking about – the “ums,” “you know,” “like” that sneak into every sentence. We do this because we’re terrified of silence. Guess what – strategic pauses actually make you sound more confident, not less. Next time you need a moment to think, just… take it. Let there be silence. Your audience will think you’re being thoughtful, not clueless.

Habit #3: Words that water down your message. This one drives me crazy. Smart people saying things like “I’m just thinking maybe we could sort of consider…” Stop it! You’re not “just” anything – you’re making a recommendation based on your expertise.

Watch out for “kind of,” “sort of,” “in my opinion,” and especially those sneaky apologies – “I’m sorry, but I think…” Why are you apologizing for having thoughts? You were hired for your brain – use it confidently!

Instead of “in my opinion,” try “the research shows” or “my recommendation is.” Delete “just,” “kind of,” and “sort of” completely. You’ll sound like the expert you actually are.

Habit #4: When your words and your body don’t match. I was working with Dave on storytelling, and he’s sharing this really difficult personal experience while… smiling. I’m sitting there confused because his face is saying one thing, and his words are saying something completely different.

This is called incongruence, and it’s confusing as heck for your audience. If you’re talking about something serious, look serious. If you’re excited, show it.

Look, you have valuable things to share with the world. Don’t let these habits get in the way. When you communicate with clarity and confidence, people listen. And when people listen, that’s when you can really make an impact.

So – which one of those habits do you catch yourself doing the most? Comment below – I’d love to hear from you! See you next week.